These are stories shared with us directly, or found online. All stories are de-identified. Please feel free to share your story if you would like to contribute to this picture of your community.
** This information reflects only stories collected through voluntary contributions** It should not be considered a statistically robust representation of any adult ADHD populations.
29 September 2023 (65 year old female)
I am a mother of a adult son with ADHD. He was diagnosed in 90s and prescribed Ritalin, the affects were horrendous escalation in behaviours and dramatic loss of weight, I took him back to specialist they had no other meds and did not prescribe alternate dosage , so I stopped the treatment now 20 years later my son is homeless, in financially in a crisis, homeless and lacking will to live. One of the major problems for them is embarrassment, at his failings he now prefers his own company despite extreme loneliness. I know how hard he tries to rise above and he does but just cannot sustain it. He needs to be diagnosed as an adult as I regretfully never followed through when he was a child not realising the terrible repercussion, but the issue is cost, waiting time, when these people struggle greatly with keeping, sitting through appointments especially when they are feeling uncomfortable. The saddest side of ADHD to me is that people don't believe, they are labelled lazy, I know how hard my son tries each day.
4 December 2022
I am still technically going through the ADHD diagnosis process. I was diagnosed by a clinical psychologist earlier this year, but my psychiatrist has yet to agree to confirm the diagnosis.
I have met with this psychiatrist three times so far. From the get-go, I felt that he was very eager to chalk all of my symptoms to my pre-existing diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. He even had me retake the McLean Test, a screening tool for BPD. When I asked why this was necessary, as this was diagnosed in 2017 and I accept that diagnosis, he said he was "trying to get the full picture." We spent the entire appointment talking about my childhood; not so much the signs of ADHD but my relationship with my abusive father. I thought this was strange, but the psychiatrist explained that he needed a holistic picture. He said we would talk in more detail about the possibility of ADHD at the next appointment.
At the follow-up appointment, I felt the psychiatrist was even more antagonistic than the first time. He repeatedly asked me "why do you think you have ADHD?" despite me having already explained this as well as I could. I felt like he was waiting for me to say the wrong thing so he could pounce on it. When I asked him if he had read the report from the clinical psychologist, he paused to look through my client file. Obviously not finding the report, he walked out of the room and returned a minute or so later with a printed copy. He then sat and read it in silence for some time, leading me to believe he had not read it before then.
throughout the conversation, he made several antagonistic-sounding comments. For example, he asked me what I thought of the BPD diagnosis. When I replied that I accepted it for the most part, but I am also aware that it is commonly diagnosed in neurodivergent people, especially people assigned female at birth, where the neurodivergence has not been diagnosed and their mental health suffers as a result. Therefore people are sometimes misdiagnosed with BPD. The psychiatrist's response was "that's true of anything. anything can be misdiagnosed." Why ask me the question, then, if he was going to be dismissive of any possible answer?
He also made other comments that struck me as grossly misinformed and even potentially dangerous, such as "if you had ADHD you would have been diagnosed in childhood" and "I don't really even think people need medication anymore, because a conference I went to said that mindfulness is just as effective." (paraphrasing)
Toward the end of our second appointment, the psychiatrist essentially told me that if he were to base his recommendations on what he had seen so far, he would be unable to diagnose me with ADHD as I am "too high functioning." I was very triggered by this as it is something that I have heard my entire life, despite feeling like I am constantly screaming out for help. It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but I immediately burst into tears and started yelling about how I am not "high functioning", and that even if I was those words do not constitute any legitimate diagnosis or indication of support needs. I argued that the times he was referencing when I seemed to function better included a time when I had a staff team filling in my executive dysfunction gaps such as keeping a diary.
Apparently, due to being confronted with this emotional response, the psychiatrist then agreed to trial me on 10-20g of Ritalin per day. I have now been on this medication for a few weeks, and it honestly feels life-changing. I have been able to carry out tasks that have been on my to-do list for years (not being hyperbolic). So now I have to return in February and try to convince this psychiatrist that the Ritalin has been effective enough for him to confirm my diagnosis of ADHD. I am frankly terrified that he will not agree and withdraw access to medication.
Having lived with undiagnosed autism for 27 years, as well as other significant mental and physical health challenges, it is an ongoing struggle to understand my own needs and get the support I need. I hope I can contribute to your work in a way that makes it easier for others.